Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Is Love enough?

I was recently ask a question from one of my clients, "Is love enough?" I first had to get an understanding of what she meant.

She states she's been married for 17 years and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that her husband loves her. He has always been faithful to her, he's a hard worker, although they don't have a lot of money, they live in a beautiful house Up State New York and drive two wonderful cars. They have 2 teenage children and he's a wonderful father.

I ask her what were the area's of her discontentment, she begin to tell me that her husband had gained weight over the years and was unattractive to her and that has affecting their love life, she also stated that he didn't like do anything anymore except set around the house.

This problem is not unusual for couples that have been married this long. These issues are very easily fixed, but if left unaddressed they could lead into some serious problems.

We (Steve & I) will be working with this couple to help them come through this phase in their marriage; but let me tell you a story:

A few years ago another one of my clients had the same question, "Is love enough?" She made the decision that "love wasn't enough" and begin to look other places. She divorced her husband and left her two children. She met another man that had the body of a Greek God and he was fine, oh, so fine. He dressed like he just stepped out of a GQ magazine, drove a 2005 745 BMW and he lived in an upscale Buckhead condo. Everything her husband was not, he was and she was willing to leave everything for what she felt she could not live without.

For the first 10 months everything was blissful, the partying was great, she felt so good being on this guys arm, she was the envy of all the women when they went out, the sex was better than any fantasy she could ever imagine. She thought she had died and went to heaven, until one evening she went over to his house to surprise him for his birthday, the only one that was surprised was her. She walked to his door and heard music coming from the inside of the condo, when she knocked on the door, after few minutes the music was cut off. After another few minutes when no one came to the door, she got a sick feeling at the pit of her stomach, she begin banging on the door. After banging on the door and even making a scene, the door finally opened and her new boyfriend appeared in a robe. He did not offer her to come in, she was very agitated and pushed her way past him. When she forced her way into the house, she looked pass the living room into the bedroom and saw a man sitting on the bed with only his underwear on, when he saw her, he got off the bed and slammed the bedroom door. She turned around and ran out the house without saying word.

Today she lives in a one bedroom apartment, catches Marta to her minimum wage paying job and comes home everyday to an empty home...her ex husband is now remarried to a women that loves the ground he walks on...

Why don't you ask the women that left her husband for what she thought she could not live without..."WAS LOVE ENOUGH?"

I bet she would say, "IT WAS!"

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